For a heart stopping moment, I thought I lost my mp3. My $300 5gb zen micro mp3 that I got in sec2. I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to arouse suspicions from my father  (who will definitely kill me if I lost it). So I was like, keeping my cool, and tracing back to where I think I lost it. At Giant, I was swinging my bag around, so I guess my mp3 fell off from my bag's pocket that has no zipper or button on it. My carelessness, I guess. I was already planning to cry at home. LIke, obviously. Cos losing my mp3 is like, losing my soul mate -_-" I'd cry at losing my mp3, but I won't cry if I lost a friend (look how cold hearted I am, huh) So I was in the car, fumbling around, touching under the seat, when I felt something. My mp3!!! Oh yeshhh, luckily. If I had lost it, I'd only have a 128mb mp3, which sucks. And though I have my handphone filled with 1gb of music space, noo that's not enough. And I just deleted a lot of songs from my computer. 

Last few days I got a call from some guy from this company. It was a missed call cos I was sleeping, so I got it half an hour after that. I called back, and this chinese man asked who I am. I adressed my name, so he was like, "you're calling for the job interview is it? what's your name again?" I said "Nurul Amira" then he was like "I'm calling for Amir, I think I got the wrong number, sorry" Hangs up. Oh bloody hell. I thought it was a person from the company I applied for a job as a data entry. Then he got the wrong number. How could this person destroy my hopes?!! It's so bloody boring staying at home. I need a job, badly.

Syark wants to go to the Botanic Garden. She wants me to bring my camera and she'll bring a black umbrella so we'll pose around. I say, this kid is crazy =_="  I wonder, will it rain then? It will totally destroy our plans. In the first place I suggested for Escape Theme Park, but she's broke. Plus, the weather ain't giving us much permission to go there. I WANT TO GO TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK! 

 
The other day I was screen capping a few videos of alice nine and super junior. I screen capped almost every frame, and for each videos there was almost 2000 screen caps. Each video size was like around 1gb+ Resulting in my computer to have minimum storage. Ohh tch. Blue Planet PV, I deleted the frames with the pink bunny hat woman. She spoils the video!!!!!

I never really believed in one line cheesy comments. Like how karma goes around, or life is a bed or roses, or even absence makes the heart grow fonder. I simply believe that life offers you a hand whenever you least expect it, and then at times decides to turn you down when you're really in deep shit. Even as people always watch Oprah or Ellen on whatever reality talk show, why should we based our life's experience with others? They have their own fate, we lie on our destiny, whatever blah blah.

Lately, the people I've been thinking about a lot, goes into my dream.


Actually it hurts that they're back. A lot.

It hurts cos they're so far from my reach, and I don't even have the courage to pick up the phone and dial their number, even though I know their number by heart for so many years. Maybe if I could turn back time, I'd like to be a nicer person to them. They're so nice to me, and all I give in return is a bad aftertaste in the mouth. Just maybe, now, we could still be friends.

Maybe.



cehh so anyway, I made a new batch of alice nine (tch, they're just too good to feast my eyes on) icons. some are from backbackback and some are from the new scans from alice_nine


( lavulavu! )

I don't really listen to my cds anymore.. since MP3 HAS INVADED. lol, okayss, I'm selling some of these cds which are still in good condition (since I bought it, listened to it once, and left to it to collect dust in my shelf) I'm too lazy to take pictures of them but I assure you it's in good condition.

CDS SELLING:

THE BLACK PARADE - MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE : SGD10

NATURAL - ORANGE RANGE : SGD10

GOODIES - CIARA : SGD10 (seriously, the fuck why did i waste my money on this rnb music idk)

if you want them, we can meet up somewhere and you can pay me by cash. =DDDD

..but if no one wants to buy themm..nyaa i'll just leave them to collect dust.. O.o

Look at me, a stranger that's just passing
I could be a murderer, or just about a saint
I might as well tell you, this life I'm going through
Right?

This is me, some cranky sixteen year old
Wandering through school, family, friends
With this body, only a body
No heart to guide with
But only a brain to mislead me
So I'm a heartless, stone cold bitch, they say
What makes you think I care?
I've lived my life for sixteen years
Long enough to realise what's stupid and what's moronic
And if you think I'm gonna change just because people hate me
Think again

I like what's considered a shit fantasy, to begin with
What they say as, "You'll never get those guys!"
What makes you think I want them in a realistic way?
They're far from my reach, and I'm not a lunatic to realise that

My kind of music is so damn different than theirs
They say "It's not music! It's a construction opera!"
So what if I like music that doesn't fit the necessary image of "typical"?
My ears are mine to begin with
And that's your problem if you hate my music

Words that goes out of my mouth are the legendary F-word as a god of cussing
I'm the queen of 'FUCK' they say
Whatever goes rolling off my tongue is bad
But that's me
Always expressive in the most vulgar manner
So why the hell should I care if you want to correct me?
The GOD of VULGARISM?

My face never fails to poster a sulking brat
What's in my head, you'll never understand
Stop saying I'm "whatever"
Just because I sulk that doesn't mean I'm "emo"
What's the meaning of that word anyway?
To cut your wrist and be freaking depressed?
I'm happy with my life, to be exact
Emo doesn't exist, because human never fails to have emotions

Kind of, a person that hates a lot
But I'm human, just like you
Don't tell me you don't have things you hate?
Hah! You're a psycho if you don't
I hate this and that and a million other things on the list
Don't tell me you don't

Perfection, I'll never seize that
I'm not pretty and I have faults and errors lying everywhere
You could pinpoint every of my mistake
But do you know which is yours?
Stop looking at mine, because I try hard at realizing it
And start looking at yours, which I don't even bother to look at
I'm sorry if I do, I get bored at times
You can critisize me, but I can't bitch about you?
Oh life is SO fair like that huh

Never wanting to look like a girl
I don't like to wear dresses or skirts or frills
But what makes you think I'm a butch?
If I am one, I'd have plastic surgery to add a cock to my vagina
I'd cut my boobs and make them flat
But you see, I still have my feminine science
I have my girlfriends and I don't play sports
I wear a bra, and girls jeans
I wear my scarve, and I behave like a girl
Except that I'm more agressive than your average bimbo

Procrastinator, the best word to fit me
I'm lazy in almost every way
But I'm only a student
An average student, just like any other average B student
Never an A++++++ genius
So I have reds lining my report
What makes you think I never tried?

Because I'm an ass stupid student
I'm aiming for something that only someone like me can have in dreams
They laugh at my dreams
Laugh all you want, laugh for all your worth
For all I care, I can try my best
Your words have no sharp knives to twist
So sorry if you think your words are gonna undetermine me

But right now, I'm really tired
Tired of the shits that's happening
And lastly,
If you think I'm gonna care
Think again.


PS: zomg when i wrote this, after i returned from the hospital visiting my father, i practically felt like the world was gonna bulldoze me. so damn depressed (cries)